Since the feminist revolution the view point of women has been changed. The norm seems to be for women to say “I don’t need a man” (emphasis on the word need); but then we are left wanting a man. However, as much as this view has been instilled in us – I think the appropriate thing to say would be “I dont want a man, but I need one”…

Now before you start building up rage in your chest & giving me the independent women speech – let me explain myself.  Biologically, women are hard-wired to find a man – to provide for them & to reproduce with. Men on the other hand (from an evolutionary perspective) strive to have multiple partners; for the simple reason that they want to ensure their genes are carried to the next generation. Women don’t have the problem of not knowing if their offspring has their genes. But I digress.

One of the reasons I think that men are so important is this biological hard-wiring. A woman can be independent, have her shit together, have a career, hobbies, a great social life and all the rest of it. But without a man in her life – there is a hole that needs to be filled. She doesn’t necessarily Need a man in her life, but she may want one.

Wanting a man can lead to coming across as desperate or clingy if you do find one. Whereas, if you have the mentality that you need one (but are willing to wait & let things fall into place) you allow for the relationship to flourish in it’s own time… Which is always better than rushing into things because you feel lonely.

I don’t think you should actively seek out a serious relationship if you don’t have your shit together.  Looking for a relationship because you’re bored or lonely is not the right thing to do. It’s better to try to get active. Get serious about your studies or job/career, join a gym, take classes in something you’ve always had a passion for, travel, get more involved with your friends. These are all things you can do – you shouldn’t WANT a man.

So, that being dealt with; here’s my reasons of why you should need a man. I don’t use the word men in the general sense of the gender, but a real man. But that’s a different post all together. We need a real man not just because of our evolutionary or biological cues, but because of the way men and women are different. Take two identical situations, a man and woman both have satisfaction in their career, hobbies and social life with family & friends. The only thing missing a partner. A man may be able to fill his sexual desires with a  woman he barely knows, however, if a woman wanted to get rid of her hornyness, sleeping with a man she barely knew would not deal with the problem. It would either make it worse; or she may get attached to man she had no intention of getting attached to. Women desire more of an emotional bond compared to a physical one.

I’m not saying that men don’t desire to be loved or to be in a relationship, but in most cases, this desire to have a life partner is not present until later on in life, after they have done all their stupidness in their teenage years/early 20’s.

So, I’ll let you think what you want – I wonder what you will think of this post, I can see it being heavily criticised. I have a lot more to say, so don’t just think my argument is based on sexual satisfaction being a reason for why we need a man; it’s just a bit long winded & this post would have been way too long. Let me know what you think in the comments below.


3 thoughts on “Why we shouldn’t “want” a man, we should “need” one.

  1. Hi militant queer feminist singing in here, what’s your opinion on women who aren’t attracted to male identified people (as I am?) I see the hetero-normatvity of your post to be a significant problem in your argument.

    Also the idea of women sleeping around for sexual gratification, have you yourself slept around, have you ever been interested in sleeping around? A great many of my friends do and find great satisfaction in being able to sleep with many fantastic people just because the sex is fun. If these sexual encounters are fun for them and harm no-one else, what is the problem? If these so seen “deviant” sexual activities who are they harming but patriarchal ideas of female sexuality, in the end I know that the binary is not as strong as society wants us to believe.

    1. I think in relation to people who are attracted to the same sex, the same thing still applies to woman. The idea of having a sexual partner, male or female is an important aspect in a females life.
      as for sleeping around – from experience I’ve found that “sleeping around” always left me feeling terrible afterwards, especially if I didn’t know the like to person past the physical. Personally, any sexual encounter that that is not a product of mutual feelings of love is not satisfying.
      Patriarchal society do shun promiscuity in females, but if that’s what floats a females boat, by all means, let her be promiscuous.

  2. The truth is that many women have had to learn to live without a man because they haven’t found a partner that is kind, considerate, honest and mature. Some of us have to make the choice to live alone rather than submit to verbal abuse, disregard and immaturity.

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