friend zone

what is the friend zone?

one definition of the friend zone is:
a state of unrequited love where in a friendship, one of the “friends” wants more than friendship, but the other person does not. They may or may not be aware of the other friend wanting more from the current relationship. The act of being “friend-zoned” is to be in the position of the friend who wants to advance the relationship.

Contrary to popular belief – females can be friend-zoned too. It’s a very frustrating ordeal…

how did you end up in the friend zone/how to know if you are in the friendzone?

To be fair, I don’t know how females end up in the friend zone. I’ll make an educated guess & say that a girl may be friend zoned if the guy suspects she’s going to friend zone him, or if the guy happens to be very good looking & already has a lot of girls chasing him, he may friend zone a few of them that he finds are actually cool to chill with etc etc. Another reason that comes to mind is the idea of the chase. If you are constantly speaking to a guy first or arranging to see him, you take away from the chase. If a guy feels he doesn’t have to fight for your attention he may see you as “easy” & quickly lose interest.

With guys on the other hand, it’s a lot easier to explain. We’re all familiar with the good guy vs. bad guy concept. Females like a bad boy… Nice guys finish last, all that nonsense. There are two main types of males. Alpha males, who are assertive and “more attractive” to females, and then there are the Beta males. Beta males are less assertive and tend to have qualities that women require from a long-term relationship. So why are they being friend-zoned?? Because of their lack of assertiveness. They spend all their time waiting for the “right time” to make a move while all the time trying to get to know the woman. After some time, the woman may see him as a great friend and person she can confide him, & since he has taken so long to make a move, she may just assume he isn’t looking for that kind of thing.

These are the most blatant signs that you are in the friend zone. When a woman starts asking you for relationship advice or telling you any of her sexual business. She asks you to go bra shopping. She brushes off any attempts to talk in a flirtatious way, or she is flirty, she will always apologise for it. She will also avoid talking about sex… with you. 

When a girl is friend-zoned, it is a bit harder to tell. But, the way I see it, if a guy is into you, he will make effort. If you are constantly having to talk to him first, there’s a good chance you’re in the friend zone. If you are constantly having to make excuses for him not speaking to you. If he always seems busy. Your hinting to get together falls on deaf ears, there is a good chance you are in the friend zone.

how to get out of the friend zone

A word of warning. Attempting to get out of the friend zone would mean having to play games. If you don’t like to play games, it would be better to just move on and try to find someone else.
The best method to get out of the friend zone is as follows:

Step 1: Make yourself unavailable
if you spend a lot of time talking to them, stop it. Make yourself appear busy. You don’t have to be rude or mean, just apologise politely if they ask to see you or avoid spending more than 5-10 minutes on the phone. Try not to text back straight away… Making yourself unavailable will allow you to re-build the relationship, while also making the other person more curious.

step 2. Test the waters
Try talking to other people, if this plan doesn’t work out for you, who knows, you might find someone else. Go on a few dates, or if you can’t, still try to be seen with members of the opposite sex by the friend zoner. They may not have seen you in such a way, but people always want what they can’t have. If they see you with someone else, they will see a different side of you. In a girls case, this may re-awaken the chase in the guy, & for a girl, she will see that you are capable of being intimate. If you got friend zoned because the girl thought you weren’t into her, this will make her question maybe why you didn’t try it on her.

Step 3: Re-build the relationship
The next time you speak to them, don’t let it be on friendly terms. You need to be assertive. Be more flirtatious, joke about sex. The goal here is to eventually ask them on a date. Don’t leave it up to them. Have something planned. Try to think of a few alternatives because they may not want to do something. Try to avoid the cinemas or anything where your attention will be on something else for the majority of the time. A dinner or something. I wouldn’t really recommend this step for females because I don’t believe a woman should chase a man. The trick for women is to come back on the scene as a new woman. If he is used to seeing you dressed very conservatively or my tomboy-ish, re-invent your look temporarily. This doesn’t necessarily mean you should dress more revealing, but flashing a big of flesh, accentuate your shape with pieces that compliment your body shape. Carry yourself differently. But remember, he must always be the one to ask you on a date.

from here, you should be on your way to exiting the friend zone. But remember, this only works in some situations. It may just be that the person genuinely doesn’t have any feelings like that for you, & you must weigh up the pros & cons of whether you want to risk damaging your friendship. Also remember; you cannot ignore someone who isn’t already paying attention. 

Just a final note. I don’t like playing games with people & quite frankly, I’m not very good at it. If you find that you’ve been friend-zoned, the best advice I can give you is to move on & let go.

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