politics & fashion

i was mesmerized when i saw pictures of viola davis at the oscars.  she looked stunning, and it took a few glances before i realized that i found her especially radiant not because of her emerald-green dress, dazzling jewelry or bronze hair color, but because her hair was natural.  a black woman wore her natural hair to the oscars.  *slow clap*  while i’m not a fan of the help or viola’s role, my hat goes off to the sista for this act that was both radical and inspirational.

why was viola’s twa (teeny weeny afro) so shocking? white women wear their natural hair everyday and no one applauds.  they don’t stop each other in the grocery store and discuss tips for managing their “unruly” hair.  they don’t celebrate the big chop or going chemical-free.  in fact, they have the audacity to wear their hair texture as it grows…

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Why we shouldn’t “want” a man, we should “need” one.

Why we shouldn’t “want” a man, we should “need” one.

Since the feminist revolution the view point of women has been changed. The norm seems to be for women to say “I don’t need a man” (emphasis on the word need); but then we are left wanting a man. However, as much as this view has been instilled in us – I think the appropriate thing to say would be “I dont want a man, but I need one”…

Now before you start building up rage in your chest & giving me the independent women speech – let me explain myself.  Biologically, women are hard-wired to find a man – to provide for them & to reproduce with. Men on the other hand (from an evolutionary perspective) strive to have multiple partners; for the simple reason that they want to ensure their genes are carried to the next generation. Women don’t have the problem of not knowing if their offspring has their genes. But I digress.

One of the reasons I think that men are so important is this biological hard-wiring. A woman can be independent, have her shit together, have a career, hobbies, a great social life and all the rest of it. But without a man in her life – there is a hole that needs to be filled. She doesn’t necessarily Need a man in her life, but she may want one.

Wanting a man can lead to coming across as desperate or clingy if you do find one. Whereas, if you have the mentality that you need one (but are willing to wait & let things fall into place) you allow for the relationship to flourish in it’s own time… Which is always better than rushing into things because you feel lonely.

I don’t think you should actively seek out a serious relationship if you don’t have your shit together.  Looking for a relationship because you’re bored or lonely is not the right thing to do. It’s better to try to get active. Get serious about your studies or job/career, join a gym, take classes in something you’ve always had a passion for, travel, get more involved with your friends. These are all things you can do – you shouldn’t WANT a man.

So, that being dealt with; here’s my reasons of why you should need a man. I don’t use the word men in the general sense of the gender, but a real man. But that’s a different post all together. We need a real man not just because of our evolutionary or biological cues, but because of the way men and women are different. Take two identical situations, a man and woman both have satisfaction in their career, hobbies and social life with family & friends. The only thing missing a partner. A man may be able to fill his sexual desires with a  woman he barely knows, however, if a woman wanted to get rid of her hornyness, sleeping with a man she barely knew would not deal with the problem. It would either make it worse; or she may get attached to man she had no intention of getting attached to. Women desire more of an emotional bond compared to a physical one.

I’m not saying that men don’t desire to be loved or to be in a relationship, but in most cases, this desire to have a life partner is not present until later on in life, after they have done all their stupidness in their teenage years/early 20’s.

So, I’ll let you think what you want – I wonder what you will think of this post, I can see it being heavily criticised. I have a lot more to say, so don’t just think my argument is based on sexual satisfaction being a reason for why we need a man; it’s just a bit long winded & this post would have been way too long. Let me know what you think in the comments below.



no – just another word in the english language
but it holds so much meaning..
short & to the point.. what is no?

no is one of the first words we learn,
no is the opposite of yes,
no can mean nothing
“No answer”
no can mean yes
“Do you like him” – “No, I really like him”

Such a simple word.
not a word I use very often,
that way you can get the full impact..

hate is such a strong word?
NO is such a strong word.
& you have the audacity to continue
your foolishness after I have SHOUTED

well then, in that case;
I hope that you know, that no-one
gets away with not noting my no,
because now, I hope you know
that not no-one knows, & you
should watch your back..
because I said, no.

Why mixed-race people are seen as more “attractive”

Why mixed-race people are seen as more “attractive”

Don’t shoot the messenger – this is the biological reason of why mixed-race people appear to be more attractive than other races. It may not apply to the majority or as a long-term thing. But in terms of seeing someone for the first time & those first moments of attraction, this is the answer.

Attraction is not subjective as some people think. It is objective. People on average prefer people with more symmetrical and average features. Not average as in what is “averagely” attractive – but lips for example – if you took all the lips in the world & found out what the average lip is, mixed-race people are more likely to have them. For example, take the extreme of a very “white” lip (usually associated with being very thin) and a very “black” lip – if they reproduce, the lips of the mixed child will be “average”. Not too big, not too small.

The reason for this attraction towards more average things is because it is “easier” on the eye in a sense. Someone with a lot of complex features – take someone like Kate Moss for example, when we look at her we have to pick her features apart to see her “beauty”. For a mixed-race person, because most of their features are more average or “generic” (think of the Sims) it is easier to “take in” all of their features at once.

As a side note – I know Megan Fox isn’t mixed race but she has been counted one of the more beautiful women in society multiple signs & scientists believe this is because her face is very symmetrical.


In The Night

In The Night

In the night, when half of humanity is sleeping
& the other half is working –
lonliness is your only companion
the presence of silence is haunting
& your mind begins to ponder & wander.

First it takes baby steps, evaluating the day,
the confused weather, grey & blue.
The late night films to be watched
at your own discretion…
until you start dissecting the world
It is a gloriously, beautiful bastard.

Your eyes demand sleep,
but your mind does not let you,
you are too deep in thought
The world is a dangerous place & the
shelter of your mother & fathers house
can no longer protect you
Its time for you to spread your wings

& although the anticipation is positive
the closer it gets, the more daunting it becomes
having lived in the system since birth
school, college, university.
Always someone there
making the tough decisions

Will you be part of the system when you leave?
did you learn enough?
Did you pick up the skills to survive,
in the white mans world?

& this is where your mind wanders in the night
& before you know it, the birds are awake
& the absence of silence allows you to finally,

Not All Guys Are Jerks

Not All Guys Are Jerks

There is a fine line between confidence and cockiness. Most men cannot balance on that line and therefore fall to one side or the other. Women are attracted to a confident, strong willed man. Cocky jerks get more women because even though they think of themselves more than anyone around them, they still have confidence. Men who fall to the other side are so emotionally wrapped up in the whole “he man” thing that they don’t feel they are man enough to get the women, and as such, women read that in them and don’t feel attracted.

Us women cant help it – from an evolutionary perspective, we are prone to be more attracted to the “bad boy” because
(1) women seek a man who can look after them
(2) confidence translates as they wont be afraid to fight for you..

The saying that “all men are the same” seems to be thrown around a lot.. But why is this? What makes a guy a jerk – is it that you let him hit it & then he up & left? Or maybe he doesnt give you as much attention as you would want? Maybe he has a girlfriend & you’re his little bit on the side..

None of these are the guys fault.. its 2012 & theres plenty of sources out there telling you that when a guy gets hard, his brain is no longer in control. So why are you moaning when he fucks you & then leaves? you knew it would happen. Why are you complaining that hes a jerk, because hes cheating on his girlfriend with you? – why are you a sideline hoe in the first place…

The problem is mainly because of the message portrayed by the media.. When we watch films – especially the Disney films, or films like Their Eyes Were On God, or Friends With Benefits.. Any guy that falls short of being perfect is a jerk.. Not all guys are mind readers, they dont know what you want – but females WANT a guy to just KNOW what they want. You dont want to give them any hint.. because in reality females dont know what they want anyway.. The media portrays roses as being romantic, but what if a girl doesnt like roses? Now youre both in a dilemma because neither party know what the female wants..

The media representations of what a perfect guy is is hard for a guy to live up to. Then, when they do manage to do something – i.e. write you a poem or love song we turn around a criticise them & call them “weak” & “not a real man” … What about the middle man? Not all women are perfect, yet they feel that they DESERVE a perfect man.. WHAT MAKES YOUR PUSSY SO DIFFERENT? you have to bring something different to the table other than good looks & good sex. Once you achieve this THEN you will deserve the perfect man.