Wasteman #1 – The Doubter

To kick start my new “feature” im going to be writing about I will start with a type of man I like to call “the doubter”.
I’ve been having a lot of doubters coming into my life recently and here is what I mean by that.

This is the type of the guy that is insecure about whether he is good enough for you. Almost like a stalker, a doubter will always overthink and over re-act to things you do, how you say them AND your omissions. To some girls it can be quite intense and you may feel like you are being backed into a corner and things may get too serious very early.

In extreme cases you may feel threatened as he can sometimes go to some crazy lengths to do stuff. Apart from being insecure about being good enough for you, he will also feel he needs to try extra hard to prove himself to you. Simply saying “I love you too” won’t silence him. He’ll start to think that you are just saying it to keep him happy.

This type of guy is grossly romantic and may sometimes seem suffocating and scary. He’s the type of guy to watch you sleep, ALL night – & not in the sweet romantic way, but he will be up all night thinking “oh my goodness, I don’t deserve this girl”…

He’s also quite immature when it comes to relationship and will assume that if things aren’t always happy and cheerful, it means you hate him or you want to end the relationship. Even if this isn’t the case (which in the beginning I’m assuming it wouldn’t be), his incessant nagging and pleading will drive you to the edge and cause a break up. Which won’t help much either because then he will assume that you were just planning to do it all along.

He can’t see what is wrong with his behaviour and this is what makes him a wasteman… He will think he is being the sort of gentleman every woman desires and that he is offering you the whole world on a silver platter, which you are showing very little appreciation for. If you do eventually leave him, or one day snap and tell him about himself he will feel deeply offended and try to make you feel like you are the one being irrational.

How do you spot him?

look out for signs such as constantly asking for reassurance very early in the relationship or during dating. This is usually a very good indicator. Also, another subtle inclination of this sort of behaviour is a longing for very dramatic text or phone conversations in early stages of dating/relationships.

Personally, I put up with a doubter for a few years (3 to be exact) and I may have stuck with him because I didn’t mind it too much, until it got obsessive.. Calling me at 2am during exam season to complain that we didn’t talk enough turned into a very scary situation. But I will respect him and not go into too much detail.. Yet.

You may be able to put up with a doubter however in my particular situation it turned out that he was also under the category of “The Ambitionless”

Go to the 50 Shades of Wastemen page for more posts.

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