Wasteman #6 – The Hotel User

Ladies, whatever you do – whether you’ve just met a guy or you’ve known him for a few years… If he insists on going to a hotel, for whatever reason, don’t go. Unless he is your man and there is a special occasion, you have no reason to be going to a hotel with a guy unless you want the following to happen. Here’s how the night will pan out.

Even if you are down to do the only thing there is to do in a hotel room with a member of the opposite sex, the night wont go how you expect. You may be thinking you’re in for a night of love and passion. Multiple rounds and orgasms, falling asleep and waking up again to sleepy kisses and cuddles. No. First of all, you’re lucky if he pays. If he tells you to book and he will give you the money on the day – it’s very unlikely that he will. If you have a guy that likes to splash cash he might pay for 2 nights so you don’t have to check out my midday – the same thing is still going to happen. When you arrive, TV turns on, spooning ensues, and before you know it, you’re forking.

WARNING**** a guy that insists on going to a hotel rather than going to his house, regardless of whether he lives by himself, with flatmates or his ‘rents, there is a very high chance that he will be one or both of these things about to mention. 1. An abomination as a penis. 2. Doesn’t last very long.

He may try to will try to fork you without a jimmy (condom) and try to front like he didn’t expect the current situation to happen. “Let me check if I have some” if you dont have any, will probably the words to leave his mouth. Believe me he does. Unless he’s a bigger wasteman and claims he is allergic to latex.. Even if he is, there are alternatives available on the market. Once that is sorted out, unless you dont like condoms either, you’ll be lucky to get 2 rounds out of him, then his phone will conveniently ring and one of his boys will be in some sort of trouble. He will leave – and please believe me, he is not coming back. Make sure you have money for food or eat before hand, or better yet, got him to buy something. You’re lucky if you get hold of him on the phone, if he hasn’t blocked your number. He will promise he’ll be back in an hour – but you will wait, and he won’t come back. Chances are you wont have been fully satisfied -so now you’re in a hotel room, one your ones, horny, and most likely pissed off, confused or frustrated.

How To Spot Him

If you’ve just met him and he offers to pay for a hotel but on the day or asks you to pay for it and he will pay you back, theres a good chance he will be a hotel user. This also applies if you’ve known him for a long time.

Always make sure you’re safe and you know where the hotel is, and how to get home if you do decide to go. Make sure you know how you get home and have money for bus, taxi or train. Guys usually use this plan if they know they can’t really satisfy a woman – he will get his own and leave once you’ve clocked what happens. Just when you think its about to get good…

Go to the 50 Shades of Wastemen page for more posts.

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