Happy New Year everyone. My goodness I am late – the writers block is still hovering over me but I think I’m overcoming it now.
I’m not sure if there will be more in store for the 50 shades series, although I wasn’t planning to do 50 posts, if you think you have a wasteman I haven’t covered let me know in a comment somewhere. Hopefully by this point you can identify if someone is not good for you. We all have different tolerance levels of the bullshit we can take.
The next few posts are going to be about how to walk away from them and get them out of your life. The thing you have to remember is that this is not a step by step HOW-TO guide, I’m giving advice/a guideline. Nor is it the only way to do it.
So lets get right into it. If you haven’t read the introduction post, I suggest you do here. I finished by saying you need a firm foundation within yourself in order to have a successful relationship. That doesn’t mean you’re on your own to grow and develop yourself. Every relationship you have is a lesson.
After you’ve finished crying and eating ice cream – whatever it is you do to mourn a relationship – do it. It’s healthy to. But don’t let it carry on too long, take time to reflect on it and try to find 3 things you learned from the relationship. If you cant find anything, you didn’t learn anything and that means you’re going to end up being in the same situation again until you do learn.
But what if they’re still in your life? What do you do after you’ve broken up and now they were doing all the things they weren’t. Take some time to analyse the situation. Men, as we all know, like the thrill of the chase – if you dumped him and now he wont stop calling and texting, he may just be being a dog and chasing you to see if he still has a hold over you. I’m not saying it will be easy, but dont show him if its affecting you.
Answer the phone cheerfully. Even if you know its him calling.
Dont look miserable and tired when you see him – note you dont have to look super fine (this can work against you)
Dont continuously talk about depressing subjects on w.e social network you’re on
you get the idea? And you dont have to do all these things, sometimes you may genuinely be upset about something else, its okay to show that. The point is that you fake not missing him until you do. And don’t just do these things as an act – you need to believe it yourself.
A big problem when we first leave a relationship is that we can sometimes be confused where it went wrong and we want closure. That doesn’t mean you have to talk to him about it. Asking “why”, especially right after you have broken up with him can leave him in a position of power. He can say whatever he wants to say – you don’t know if he’s telling the truth. And if you’re dealing with a wordsmith it can get messy.
Instead, use the lessons you learned to weigh up what went wrong, and how you can avoid the same situation. Give yourself this closure and peace of mind, then maybe in a few months or maybe even years and you happen to end up talking to the ex again, then you can ask him in a mature manner.
So, I hope that quenched some of your cravings for my posts. I’m really sorry I’ve been away – I’ve been dealing with a lot of sh*t.
Thanks for reading and stay tuned for the newest post.