In the words of Kelly Clarkson, I’m looking for attention, not another question – should you stay or should you go? If you dont have the answer why are you still standing here? JUST WALK AWAY!
Every girl has been in a situation where she’s not sure how to cut a guy off that she knows is not good company to keep. Too often women find themselves with a man that does not deserve or respect them, yet they still hang around hoping they will change. If you’ve read any of my posts from the series, 50 shades of Wastemen, you should know by now a leopard never changes his spots.
Women seem to place a responsibility upon themselves to be a mother to their lover – they want to guide and mould them into the man they desire. And most of the time this plan fails. The only thing you can do is bring out the qualities in a man that are already there, but you cannot add or remove characteristics. A man is not a gadget, smartphone, or blank slate. Everyone comes with their own baggage and if you cant handle the baggage, leave. No one is forcing you to stay.
This is where the problem arises. And there are more than one. Originally I was going to make one long blog post, but I realised it would have been way too long. So this is an introduction. Although there are many problem when it comes to letting someone go there is one point I think applies to all woman. And it is this.
No relationship can be built firmly if the foundation is not firm. What do I mean by this?
You may think the foundation is how you meet, or if there was a spark..This is not what I am referring to.
You are the foundation. If you haven’t found yourself and understand yourself at a basic level, how can you understand anyone elses needs. When we were younger our parents warned us not to start dating too early. It wasn’t because they were being overprotective, it was because they didn’t want you to get bored.
If you are experiencing heartache from a young age over and over, by the time you’re 22 and you’ve been dating for almost a decade, what do you think will happen to you? You will get bored of the dating scene. You’re going to feel as if time is running out and start seeking to initiate more serious relationships. Auditioning husbands but at the same time your still so young. Even if you do find love young, and you get married and have kids at a very young age, if you didn’t give yourself time to be youthful and learn how to be happy ON YOUR OWN. if your perfect relationship were to dishevel you are left with nothing. My friends mother got married young and she was born after her parents were married, her mum was a perfect housewife, but when she was young they divorced and her mother, now 40-something, dates casually and goes club hopping with 20 year olds. Is this what you want for yourself? Allow yourself to have fun, dont make relationships too serious. Even if you think that person is the one, if it is meant to be, it will be.
With all this being said, we also deceive ourselves into thinking someone is the right guy. All the signs can be there, but our lack of self love and ability to make ourselves happy blinds us. Fear of not having any attention or the tediousness of talking to a whole new person can seem daunting, but if someone is not good for your life they need to be cut off.
I will try, every week to write a new post for each situation, whether its you’ve just met someone and dont know how to judge whether to walk away or be patient, OR if you’re already in love with the person and are finding a hard time letting them go – stay tuned. I’ll be updating my twitter and instagram with the new posts so you can also follow me on there. @msschwann is the username for both.
Thanks for reading guys,
leave your thoughts below.