Wasteman #7 – The Rude One

Everyone can be a little bit rude or have a bad day, but there are some guys who are beyond the point of cute banter and are just downright pricks.

The rude wasteman usually claims to be emotionally detached and warns you not to catch feelings, or if at any time you try to bring up the subject of liking each other/getting together or whatever, he will either ignore you or change the subject or pretend he doesn’t know what you’re talking about.

The genius of the Rude One is that they have mastered the art of the Wordsmith and cropped down to just one word that can make himself irrestible to almost any woman. Irrelevant.

Don’t be confused by the wording – the word irrelevant is so powerful it will leave you confused and wanting more of him. Let’s say you snap under the pressure of not getting much of a response out of him and you send him a long txt/ping/KIK/whatsapp of how you feel about him and what a prick he has been… Rather than replying in retaliation or just saying OK, the rude one will ask what the hell you are going on about and when or if you take the time to explain and simplify what you want, he’ll reply that everything you just said is Irrelevant.

Its more aggravating than if he were just to reply ‘OK’ or ‘k.’ But this one word has now managed to make you yourself feel ‘irrelevant’ and it also creates an air of mystery about him. No guy can receive a long paragraph message from a girl and not have an opinion about it. Its a power play. You are confused and probably more upset than before and now you want to try harder to get a reaction out of him.

The main problem with majority of the female species is that we are hell-bent on changing a guy we like but who doesn’t necessarily treat us like we want him to. You will never be able to change a guy. If his nature is rude, he is going to continue to be rude. Most likely the more you try to change him the ruder he may get. It’s in your best  to “kick his ass to the curb”. Seriously, you’ll just end up having an emotional break down & crying underneath a table *cough cough*…

How To Spot Him

All it takes is the magic word.. He may start out with cute banter, but as soon as he says the word Irrelevant (a few times, give him a chance), alarm bells should be ringing.

This type of guy is not for those sweet and innocent girls out there. Its not that a rude guy is incapable of loving, it may just be that he’s not really that into you. To be honest, if a guy really likes you, he should go out his way to make you feel special. There is no such thing as a person making you feel like shit by accident, multiple times. If you think you can handle a rude guy, don’t get too emotionally attached too soon. If you stick through it you don’t have to worry about other girls wanting him or him cheating. He may be testing you to see if you’ll stick around later.

Go to the 50 Shades of Wastemen page for more posts.

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Wasteman #6 – The Hotel User

Ladies, whatever you do – whether you’ve just met a guy or you’ve known him for a few years… If he insists on going to a hotel, for whatever reason, don’t go. Unless he is your man and there is a special occasion, you have no reason to be going to a hotel with a guy unless you want the following to happen. Here’s how the night will pan out.

Even if you are down to do the only thing there is to do in a hotel room with a member of the opposite sex, the night wont go how you expect. You may be thinking you’re in for a night of love and passion. Multiple rounds and orgasms, falling asleep and waking up again to sleepy kisses and cuddles. No. First of all, you’re lucky if he pays. If he tells you to book and he will give you the money on the day – it’s very unlikely that he will. If you have a guy that likes to splash cash he might pay for 2 nights so you don’t have to check out my midday – the same thing is still going to happen. When you arrive, TV turns on, spooning ensues, and before you know it, you’re forking.

WARNING**** a guy that insists on going to a hotel rather than going to his house, regardless of whether he lives by himself, with flatmates or his ‘rents, there is a very high chance that he will be one or both of these things about to mention. 1. An abomination as a penis. 2. Doesn’t last very long.

He may try to will try to fork you without a jimmy (condom) and try to front like he didn’t expect the current situation to happen. “Let me check if I have some” if you dont have any, will probably the words to leave his mouth. Believe me he does. Unless he’s a bigger wasteman and claims he is allergic to latex.. Even if he is, there are alternatives available on the market. Once that is sorted out, unless you dont like condoms either, you’ll be lucky to get 2 rounds out of him, then his phone will conveniently ring and one of his boys will be in some sort of trouble. He will leave – and please believe me, he is not coming back. Make sure you have money for food or eat before hand, or better yet, got him to buy something. You’re lucky if you get hold of him on the phone, if he hasn’t blocked your number. He will promise he’ll be back in an hour – but you will wait, and he won’t come back. Chances are you wont have been fully satisfied -so now you’re in a hotel room, one your ones, horny, and most likely pissed off, confused or frustrated.

How To Spot Him

If you’ve just met him and he offers to pay for a hotel but on the day or asks you to pay for it and he will pay you back, theres a good chance he will be a hotel user. This also applies if you’ve known him for a long time.

Always make sure you’re safe and you know where the hotel is, and how to get home if you do decide to go. Make sure you know how you get home and have money for bus, taxi or train. Guys usually use this plan if they know they can’t really satisfy a woman – he will get his own and leave once you’ve clocked what happens. Just when you think its about to get good…

Go to the 50 Shades of Wastemen page for more posts.

Wasteman #4 – The One Who Refuses to Give You a Title

If there’s anything worse than a guy who forever makes you empty promises then the guy that refuses to give you title is definitely on the same level of wasteman-ism.

Whether this guy tells you he doesn’t want a relationship from the beginning or tells you half way through the courtship he’s not ready for a relationship the two situations are equally as aggravating.

If a guy is treating you like his girl or he is expecting you to do things a girlfriend should do but he hasn’t made it official between you two – its very unlikely that he will eventually give you that title.

From experience & what other girls have told me, I’ve noticed a pattern. Its usually if you are a girl he’s dating just after he has come out of a long term relationship. You may not necessarily be a rebound like, but after a bad breakup a guy is usually reluctant to jump back on the monogamy wagon. Especially if he was with his ex for a few years. Don’t be offended – it takes a lot to jump back on that train & if he’s not ready you should give him time. If he isn’t being very responsive and seems distant he probably still misses his ex and there’s a good chance you could be a rebound like.

However if he swears he is offer his ex and he is taking you out on dates, wining & dining you, speaking to you everyday. Good morning & good night texts or phonecalls & he starts making demands like asking you too cook him food, massages, borrow money… Don’t be the stupid girl that gives him all the privileges a man receives from a girlfriend and not demand a title. He can use the wordsmith in him & make you feel like you should do these things. Here’s a few excuses he might throw around

– its just a title, its about what he have babe
– I’m scared of commitment
– I just got out of a bad relationship
– I thought you were okay with what we had
– I don’t want to ruin our friendship

For anyone reading this & nodding in agreement with the first bullet point let me explain the importance of The Title to a female. I agree that the relationship isn’t about the title of being girlfriend and boyfriend or husband and wife. Its about how you interact with eachother and naturally the best relationships are those born out of friendship. However a relationship is all about give and take. A woman needs to be respected and giving her a title is a way of showing that you respect her. Unless you have already agreed that you want to be friends with benefits and don’t want to put a label on the thing you have going on, so be it. But if you are taking a girl out, sleeping with her & expecting her to cater to your needs its only fair you show her the respect she deserves.

Let me give you an example from my own life. There’s was a guy I was seeing for the first half of last year and through the summer before I started university. I had been seeing him for a while and at one point he was the only person I went to go and see. I lost contact with most of my friends and acquaintances (though out of personal choice) & when people used to see us together all the time they naturally assumed we were in a relationship. It was so embarrassing when people used to ask me, is that your man, & I would reply no. It is humiliating to give all your time and effort to one person and treat them like they are your man when he hasn’t made it official. Even his friends thought we were a couple. & after 4 months when I asked him if we were – he replied he wasn’t ready to give me such a title. Having waited and waited it began to bother me that he was treating me like I was exclusively his and vice versa. He even met my mother & rest of my family. Finally when it was time for me to move to the other side of the country he became Mr. Why are you leaving me. I wasn’t going to wait around and hope for something that may never happen and jeopardise my own happiness and path in life.

How To Spot Him

I think from reading as much as you have so far you should have a good clue of what the characteristics of this type of man are. He is an opportunist that would rather keep you monogamous to him but not make it official. That way if he sleeps with another girl you have no right to cuss him out and slash his tyres.

Being with a man like this can be difficult. he leaves with no ground to stand on and may cause you to become insecure about yourself. Soon enough you’ll find yourself question “what’s wrong with me” as if its your fault he thinks he’s a clever so & so. If you don’t care about a title (& I will say, I thought I didn’t at first but after a while it does start to gnaw at you) then this is the man for you. He won’t necessarily treat you wrong but he can always up & leave with no strings attached any time he likes.

Go to the 50 Shades of Wastemen page for more posts.

Middle Man

Middle Man

One foot in the room,
The other in the hallway.
Enough to know what is going on,
Not enough to be part of it.

Always the excuse to insist,
“I’m not in your room!”
Always questioning whether you’re allowed,
to come in or whether to keep your distance.

The problem with being a middle man.

 

You’re Fat so You’re Ugly.

You’re Fat so You’re Ugly.
girlwithcurves.tumblr.com

You are fearfully and wonderfully made. The Lords works are wonderful & if you didn’t know that, now you do. But seriously, pretty doesnt equal skinny. Neither does skinny mean healthy.. It seems to be that people are obsessed with image more than ever, with the internet bombarding us with so many images – it is difficult to be confident in yourself these days.

Let me make one thing clear, the word “fat” seems to have been associated with being a derogatory term. On the contrary, it is just a descriptive word. So throughout this post, do not take it as derogatory, but fat is fat is fat. I’m not a sugar coater.

Although the term big boned seems to be an excuse for fat people to be the way they are, it does seem to hold some truth. Take my mother for example, she has always been quite chubby since she was little. To this day, she has always been size 16+ (UK Size) and has never been skinny EVER. I remember she tried everything under the sun to lose the weight, which included a point in my life where I remember being carted to different gyms in Germany, staying in the daycare section while my mum spend hours at a time, doing classes and using all the different machines you could think of. She’s tried every diet under the sun but if she did lose the weight, she would always put it back on when she stopped.

This is the problem – diets don’t work for this simple reason. You alter your diet and what you’re used to eating your body is no longer getting, when you go on a diet, yes you can lose weight, but as soon as your happy with how much weight you’ve lost, you go back to your old food habits and the weight just piles back on again. You can count calories until your face turns blue but it is not a long term solution.

Another problem with diets is that you usually don’t enjoy them. You’re restricting the foods you like and this is just going to put you in a bad mood. If you’re going to diet successfully, its going to have to be something that you’re happy with doing for the rest of your life. Not in a weight loss fashion, but after you’ve lost the weight, you cant go back to what you’re used to eating.

I also have a bone to pick with calories. Calories don’t equal fat, calories are energy. Calories are like your fuel for the day and having too little of them can give you bad mood swings and less energy than you’re used to. If your body is used to eating 3000-4000 calories a day and you suddenly switch to having  just over 1000 calories a day this can be very dangerous. If you want to lose weight, focus on the fat content of your food rather than the calories.

People have been conditioned to count calories and rather than doing us good, we are starving our bodies of energy and weakening brain functioning, making us easier to manipulate. Its a dangerous cycle. You’re going to spend less time thinking about your actions because you’re brain doesn’t have enough energy and you’re going to passively absorb what you see. All those hours harmlessly scrolling down on Tumblr can be very damaging for your self-esteem. Do you see it?

But enough about that, this is what I want to get at. Some people are naturally big – if its how God intended it to be, let it be. Think about is like the natural hair thing. If you’re naturally slim, work with it. If you’re naturally fat, work with it. There are so many blogs popping up for how to dress to your body shape.

I understand that there is a problem of obesity nowadays. Fair enough, exercise and lose an extra baggage that is clearly not meant to be there, but don’t aim to be a size 8 if you’ve always been a size 14+. The message that you can be healthy at any weight is not said enough, but seriously, work with what you have. I can go into details about how we’ve been brainwashed into thinking thin equals healthy and how they try to use evolution to back it up, but I will be hear all day and frankly, I don’t have time.

rant over.

p.s, this is what aggravated me & inspired me to write this post.

The issue of weight isnt as black and white as if you’re fat lose it. Weight is harder to lose the older you get, your body also tries to stay the same weight it was at 18. Some people were literally born big.. Not fat but still bigger than average. I know many people who are fat who are attempting to lose the weight but there are challenges, i.e., stretch marks & horrendous diets that usually dont work.. Just saying.. And also, just because someone is fat doesnt mean they are dirty. and another thing.. A relative of mine ballooned from a size 8 to 18 when she was put on some medication in the hospital. I dont see her often so when I saw her as big as she was I was so shocked.. She cant lose the weight because of her medication so what is she supposed to do. Stop taking her medicine & risk dying just so she can lose weight to please society, then put all the weight back on again when she starts taking her medication again… Cha. I disagree with everything Logan & Poet are saying

Are Glasses Sexy?

Are Glasses Sexy?

As a girl who wears glasses, the question “Am I good looking” seems to creep into my mind every now and then. I have been wearing glasses since I was 8 or 9 so most people I have met have always known me to wear glasses. The option to wear contacts of course is available and I do have them, but I chose to wear them on special occasions because they are so irritating. They dry your eyes out and I always seem to have problems when it comes to taking them out. I’m not ashamed to say I love wearing glasses and I’m not really a person to care what someone else thinks of me. However, there are people out there who do care a great deal about what other people think of them.

I know plenty of people who are meant to wear glasses but they don’t, and in most cases they don’t even get contacts. The worst of these culprits are actually men. It is quite rare to see a guy rocking his specs with confidence, although in most cases they are more responsible and get contacts to compensate.

Wearing glasses can be very nerve wrecking. I have experienced the insecurities they bring. I’ll give you a real life example.  I went out for  one of my friends 22nd birthday. I got this guys number and I saw him the following Sunday. When he came to pick me up I was wearing my glasses and when I got in the car he was staring at me for a long time. I asked him whats wrong. He said I looked like a completely different person but couldnt pin point what it was that was different about me. I realised it was my glasses. I didn’t think anything of it, but as the day went on, he kept complaining about it. Eventually I took them off. I have very bad eyesight, so it was quite hard for me to see. I later on realised that was stupid of me to do. If a guy cant accept me for who I am – i.e., a person that wears glasses. I shouldn’t have to stress myself out to please them and they don’t deserve to be in my life.

I’ve also met plenty of guys who adore me with my glasses on. And thats the great thing. Dont go through life attempting to please everyone. If you wear glasses, embrace them, because there will always be someone out there who will appreciate you, for you. If you’re not convinced, here are a few benefits of wearing glasses.

1. For many people, it is actually a fetish. You can pull of the sexy secretary look!
2. Rain or snow? Your eyes are protected, while everyone is busy shielding their face, you dont have to
3. Diversity. You can achieve two different looks, most people  look completely different with glasses on and off. take advantage of this
4. Guys who wear glasses – you may not know this but it is extremely appealing to some females. You are more likely to snap up a decent female wearing them because you will look more educated or sweet and innocent.

That’s not to say that if you wear glasses you MUST wear them. If you are comfortable with wearing contacts, do it! The only thing you should avoid is putting yourself in a position where you feel uncomfortable for the sake of others.

So what do you think? Are glasses sexy? Let me know in the comments below.