Wasteman #6 – The Hotel User

Ladies, whatever you do – whether you’ve just met a guy or you’ve known him for a few years… If he insists on going to a hotel, for whatever reason, don’t go. Unless he is your man and there is a special occasion, you have no reason to be going to a hotel with a guy unless you want the following to happen. Here’s how the night will pan out.

Even if you are down to do the only thing there is to do in a hotel room with a member of the opposite sex, the night wont go how you expect. You may be thinking you’re in for a night of love and passion. Multiple rounds and orgasms, falling asleep and waking up again to sleepy kisses and cuddles. No. First of all, you’re lucky if he pays. If he tells you to book and he will give you the money on the day – it’s very unlikely that he will. If you have a guy that likes to splash cash he might pay for 2 nights so you don’t have to check out my midday – the same thing is still going to happen. When you arrive, TV turns on, spooning ensues, and before you know it, you’re forking.

WARNING**** a guy that insists on going to a hotel rather than going to his house, regardless of whether he lives by himself, with flatmates or his ‘rents, there is a very high chance that he will be one or both of these things about to mention. 1. An abomination as a penis. 2. Doesn’t last very long.

He may try to will try to fork you without a jimmy (condom) and try to front like he didn’t expect the current situation to happen. “Let me check if I have some” if you dont have any, will probably the words to leave his mouth. Believe me he does. Unless he’s a bigger wasteman and claims he is allergic to latex.. Even if he is, there are alternatives available on the market. Once that is sorted out, unless you dont like condoms either, you’ll be lucky to get 2 rounds out of him, then his phone will conveniently ring and one of his boys will be in some sort of trouble. He will leave – and please believe me, he is not coming back. Make sure you have money for food or eat before hand, or better yet, got him to buy something. You’re lucky if you get hold of him on the phone, if he hasn’t blocked your number. He will promise he’ll be back in an hour – but you will wait, and he won’t come back. Chances are you wont have been fully satisfied -so now you’re in a hotel room, one your ones, horny, and most likely pissed off, confused or frustrated.

How To Spot Him

If you’ve just met him and he offers to pay for a hotel but on the day or asks you to pay for it and he will pay you back, theres a good chance he will be a hotel user. This also applies if you’ve known him for a long time.

Always make sure you’re safe and you know where the hotel is, and how to get home if you do decide to go. Make sure you know how you get home and have money for bus, taxi or train. Guys usually use this plan if they know they can’t really satisfy a woman – he will get his own and leave once you’ve clocked what happens. Just when you think its about to get good…

Go to the 50 Shades of Wastemen page for more posts.

Wasteman #4 – The One Who Refuses to Give You a Title

If there’s anything worse than a guy who forever makes you empty promises then the guy that refuses to give you title is definitely on the same level of wasteman-ism.

Whether this guy tells you he doesn’t want a relationship from the beginning or tells you half way through the courtship he’s not ready for a relationship the two situations are equally as aggravating.

If a guy is treating you like his girl or he is expecting you to do things a girlfriend should do but he hasn’t made it official between you two – its very unlikely that he will eventually give you that title.

From experience & what other girls have told me, I’ve noticed a pattern. Its usually if you are a girl he’s dating just after he has come out of a long term relationship. You may not necessarily be a rebound like, but after a bad breakup a guy is usually reluctant to jump back on the monogamy wagon. Especially if he was with his ex for a few years. Don’t be offended – it takes a lot to jump back on that train & if he’s not ready you should give him time. If he isn’t being very responsive and seems distant he probably still misses his ex and there’s a good chance you could be a rebound like.

However if he swears he is offer his ex and he is taking you out on dates, wining & dining you, speaking to you everyday. Good morning & good night texts or phonecalls & he starts making demands like asking you too cook him food, massages, borrow money… Don’t be the stupid girl that gives him all the privileges a man receives from a girlfriend and not demand a title. He can use the wordsmith in him & make you feel like you should do these things. Here’s a few excuses he might throw around

– its just a title, its about what he have babe
– I’m scared of commitment
– I just got out of a bad relationship
– I thought you were okay with what we had
– I don’t want to ruin our friendship

For anyone reading this & nodding in agreement with the first bullet point let me explain the importance of The Title to a female. I agree that the relationship isn’t about the title of being girlfriend and boyfriend or husband and wife. Its about how you interact with eachother and naturally the best relationships are those born out of friendship. However a relationship is all about give and take. A woman needs to be respected and giving her a title is a way of showing that you respect her. Unless you have already agreed that you want to be friends with benefits and don’t want to put a label on the thing you have going on, so be it. But if you are taking a girl out, sleeping with her & expecting her to cater to your needs its only fair you show her the respect she deserves.

Let me give you an example from my own life. There’s was a guy I was seeing for the first half of last year and through the summer before I started university. I had been seeing him for a while and at one point he was the only person I went to go and see. I lost contact with most of my friends and acquaintances (though out of personal choice) & when people used to see us together all the time they naturally assumed we were in a relationship. It was so embarrassing when people used to ask me, is that your man, & I would reply no. It is humiliating to give all your time and effort to one person and treat them like they are your man when he hasn’t made it official. Even his friends thought we were a couple. & after 4 months when I asked him if we were – he replied he wasn’t ready to give me such a title. Having waited and waited it began to bother me that he was treating me like I was exclusively his and vice versa. He even met my mother & rest of my family. Finally when it was time for me to move to the other side of the country he became Mr. Why are you leaving me. I wasn’t going to wait around and hope for something that may never happen and jeopardise my own happiness and path in life.

How To Spot Him

I think from reading as much as you have so far you should have a good clue of what the characteristics of this type of man are. He is an opportunist that would rather keep you monogamous to him but not make it official. That way if he sleeps with another girl you have no right to cuss him out and slash his tyres.

Being with a man like this can be difficult. he leaves with no ground to stand on and may cause you to become insecure about yourself. Soon enough you’ll find yourself question “what’s wrong with me” as if its your fault he thinks he’s a clever so & so. If you don’t care about a title (& I will say, I thought I didn’t at first but after a while it does start to gnaw at you) then this is the man for you. He won’t necessarily treat you wrong but he can always up & leave with no strings attached any time he likes.

Go to the 50 Shades of Wastemen page for more posts.

Poor?

Poor?

Recently, I have been really worrying about material things. I never really cared for clothes or having the latest technology – & anyone who knows me will know this. I dont really care, I have never owned an iPod, or a blackberry, or an iPhone, or even an Android. The most advanced phone Ive ever owned is one from T-Mobile which was £50 & it had internet access and was touch screen, & had a slide out QWERTY.. I really liked that phone as well 😦 .. but anyway .. Even when I was younger, I never had a Nintendo gaming system, or a gameboy or anything like that, because I never cared for it enough. Or even if i did, I never liked asking my mum for things – I still dont to this day. The first time I held a gameboy was when my brother asked my mum to get him one for his birthday back in the early 00’s. I cant name at least 5 Mario characters without help, because Ive never owned any of the games and played, & got to know it.

& on reflection of this, I dont even know WHY IM caring .. The above things are not affecting me, Im just thinking about the approval of others in society. Money seems to be a big key to “happiness” they say, then others argue money cant buy you happiness. But money can buy you an iPhone, & chinos, & snapbacks & those new Galaxy shoes or w.e they are. But are they making you happy? Or are they just things that will aid you in your pursuit of approval from your peers . Think about it?

How do you see yourself compared to your friends? yes you may not have a job & life can be a bit of a struggle. The parent you live with, or parents may not have a good job or be struggling as well, but the majority of people that I see seem to be able to ask another family member for money. Maybe your dad lives in another country as a bank manager or something, you aren’t struggling, because you have a source of money elsewhere. Not everyone has a rich family member somewhere else. Maybe some people only have the family they live with. No distant cousins, or close ones. So dont talk to me about money problems, because you can’t get the latest iPhone or laptop or iPad or whatever it is that you want… It’s hard these days – especially if you’re not doing some sort of illegal activity like AC’s/selling drugs.

You’re struggling yet you have a £1000 Apple Mac computer, £400 camera & topshop clothes. Dont talk to me about struggle.