Middle Man

Middle Man

One foot in the room,
The other in the hallway.
Enough to know what is going on,
Not enough to be part of it.

Always the excuse to insist,
“I’m not in your room!”
Always questioning whether you’re allowed,
to come in or whether to keep your distance.

The problem with being a middle man.


The Lighty Curse

The Lighty Curse

Being mixed-race isnt as glamorous as some make it or perceive it to be.
Yes, there are advantages, but in my eyes, the disadvantages outweigh them…


1. Best of both worlds

One of the best advantages in my eyes is the benefit of growing up with more than 2 cultures. Im half German & half Nigerian – I grew up in Germany, & then when i moved away at 7, I was immersed in the Nigerian culture. Its great to be able to relate to more than one culture, it makes you feel like you belong, which is usually a huge problem..

2. Male/Female Attention

I don’t really agree with this, but it clearly is one of the “advantages” – Light-skinned people are universally seen as more attractive.. In London, “Lighty’s/Brownin’s, Mixed-race girls” often catch a lot of male attention, & even more so for males, mixed race boys are often more desired, & even if some arent sexually attracted to them, they cant deny that they dont think they are attractive..

this pisses me off in a way .. Just because you are LIGHTSKINNED doesnt instantly make you beautiful. Ive seen A LOT of beautiful dark girls, but they never get the attention they deserve.


1. Problems fitting in

You can never truly belong in a group, even in a group of mixed-race people, because you can still come from different cultures. I had a lot of problems with this in the past. Not so much now, because ive learnt to become more independent, & in a way, I have always been quite independent, but even this isnt always a good thing. Sometimes, you just want to have ONE group that you fully belong to, rather then 7 where you sort of belong but you are never properly accepted. This problem is magnified for mixed-race people because of the multi-culture background, in some cases, they will find a group where they belong, but then another group that has different views they may also belong to, & as soon as you start spending some time with that group, the problem begins, because now you dont FULLY belong to a group anymore.

2. Peoples preconceived attitude towards you

People seem to have a preconceived idea about what mixed-race people are like, they main one being that we are “Stush/stuck up”… One bad apple in the basket spoils the rest.. There are mixed-race girls that think they’re TOO good for anyone. Walking around with their heads held high. We are not all like this.

Another thing people associate with mixed-race people is that we are promiscuous… Again, this is not true.. There are promiscuous people, but its not like the majority of them are mixed-race. In my opinion, i think its extremely difficult for “pretty people” to NOT be promiscuous.. For 2 reasons. Firstly, if you do get a lot of attention, some people who have low self-esteem will take whatever comes their way for approval.. & you can debate this, but its true in some cases. Secondly, if you do have a lot of attention, there may be some people that get through to you, make you believe they really like you, when really they’re only after one thing, & once trust is established … the rest is history.. Now once again, this isnt ALL mixed-race people, but, the bad apple spoils the rest of the basket. & yes true, some people may just like sex.

3. Black & Mixed-race are the same thing in employers eyes

This may not be as true in this day & age, but ive noticed since moving to Kent where the majority of the population are Caucasian – job prospects aren’t as good. Employers are supposed to give everyone an equal opportunity by law,however, i dont feel this is upheld as much as it should be. For example, my friend, who is black went into a shop & asked if there were any vacancies in early September. The lady she spoke to said no, they had already hired everyone – fair enough.. She then asked if there were any vacancies for Christmas, & the lady replied saying, no they have already hired… In September? She was blatantly lying. So, the next day, she asked her flatmate, who is white to ask, & miraculously, there were now vacancies… Similarly, I’ve been job hunting since I started uni & havent found anything. I even applied for McDonalds again -I worked there for a year & have excellent references. I got a call from the manager & he said I should come in to sort out the paper work since Ive worked there before. I went there & he asked me where I could work, & if I could work in the kitchen. The position I applied for was a cleaner for the dining area. I told him I can work anywhere expect for the kitchen because I hadn’t been trained. He then said – well, I dont like to hire people that have worked here before because it means they quit because they didnt like the job. I told him I quit because i was coming to uni.. He just kept chatting his nonsense & said unless I get an amazing reference from my old store, its unlikely Ill get a job. The next day I got that generic rejection e-mail. Now, the moral of this story is that, it doesnt matter if you’re light-skinned or not, employers see it all the same way..

Why mixed-race people are seen as more “attractive”

Why mixed-race people are seen as more “attractive”

Don’t shoot the messenger – this is the biological reason of why mixed-race people appear to be more attractive than other races. It may not apply to the majority or as a long-term thing. But in terms of seeing someone for the first time & those first moments of attraction, this is the answer.

Attraction is not subjective as some people think. It is objective. People on average prefer people with more symmetrical and average features. Not average as in what is “averagely” attractive – but lips for example – if you took all the lips in the world & found out what the average lip is, mixed-race people are more likely to have them. For example, take the extreme of a very “white” lip (usually associated with being very thin) and a very “black” lip – if they reproduce, the lips of the mixed child will be “average”. Not too big, not too small.

The reason for this attraction towards more average things is because it is “easier” on the eye in a sense. Someone with a lot of complex features – take someone like Kate Moss for example, when we look at her we have to pick her features apart to see her “beauty”. For a mixed-race person, because most of their features are more average or “generic” (think of the Sims) it is easier to “take in” all of their features at once.

As a side note – I know Megan Fox isn’t mixed race but she has been counted one of the more beautiful women in society multiple signs & scientists believe this is because her face is very┬ásymmetrical.


Made in Germany, Manufactured in Nigeria

Made in Germany, Manufactured in Nigeria

Suffering the same fate as Zeno,
my tongue ripped from throat;
yes, the cat did feed.
Grammatical rules still battle
with the english –

I prefer my butter toasted,
put some tea in my sugar;
slips of the tongue evade me
my tongue running past my mind
talking too fast.

I am truly Made in Germany
the language lies dormant in me
my mind tingles when the language
tickles my ear or tantalises my eyes
yearning for the culture

Homemade cheesecake, deep green
landscapes, the mother land interconnected
by Autobahn.
Crisp, fresh air and sparkling water,

Torn from my half roots,
Mother manufactured in Nigeria,
her roots deep set in her OWN motherland,
she still owns her tongue
emersed me in the culture and customs,

The language rings familiar in my ears,
though fluency evades me,
E kaa-ro, e jo, kini? olodo, oloshi
Simplicity speaks to me

so this is the meaning stamped to my back
to forever remind me of my lineage.